caesura, schmaesura

Posted by on Jan 27, 2013 in Blog | No Comments

Oh, and I got married. Got deeper into what we really mean when we say to another, “I love you.” Got several big life things done and faced several big heart things that needed facing. And, therefore, got really behind in 2012. Behind on the stuff, I am now realizing, we all should get behind ...

Read More

the baptismal cycle

Posted by on Apr 28, 2012 in After the Ecstasy, Jack Kornfield, the Laundry | No Comments

Doing three loads of darks instead of paying my bills. Paying my bills instead of steaming those vegetables going limp in the fridge. Eating another energy bar instead of doing my back exercises because I don’t have the energy to exercise. Telling myself that doing laundry is exercise. Doing the dishes from yesterday after spending ...

Read More

a bird in the hamsa

Posted by on Mar 5, 2012 in Christianity, Islam | No Comments

My hand pressed deeply into cool marble. Millions of other and more earnest hands had worn deep fingerprints into the central column of the Portico de la Gloria just inside the Cathedral of Santiago de Compostela in northernmost Galicia, and touching so many centuries of aspiration and supplication gave me a quick jolt. But, just ...

Read More

is there a buddhist in the house?!?

Posted by on Feb 18, 2012 in Buddhism, Emily Dickinson, Life | No Comments

“Would you like to have spiritual care?” The question scared me. The nurse had been casually going through various pre-op necessities, taking my blood pressure and checking my pulse and asking if I were allergic to latex. My impending translaminar foraminectomy was classified as elective surgery. “Spiritual care” sounded like “last rites” to me. Had ...

Read More

play it again, Rainer

Posted by on Feb 3, 2012 in Poetry, Rainer Maria Rilke | No Comments

I was burning. A slow, surreptitious fire. A diffuse thread of lightning tracing down my body. Not the shock of one hard blow but, like dark ink, a slow and spreading stain of pain. And, I kept telling myself it’s just a little pain. It’s just a physical discomfort. (Do you, like me, think first ...

Read More

fuzzy wuzzy logic

Posted by on Oct 22, 2011 in Air Guitar, Art, Kurt Vonnegut | No Comments

“Fuzzy stars!” And with that, my then two-year-old Larkin perspicaciously summed up my recent “serious” art purchase and walked off, perfectly happy. Art has always been an inexplicable love for me. Not inexplicable in the sense that art shouldn’t be loved. Just, with all of the need for justification and productivity and “But, what is ...

Read More

the golden wow

Posted by on Oct 2, 2011 in Buddhism, Christianity, The Golden Bough | No Comments

I begged my most Christian collegiate compadre to buy me condoms. Oh, the things a fledgling proselytizer doesn’t imagine they’ll be called to do. But, after two shocked eyebrows and one sigh of resignation as I bolted out of her post-collegiate apartment door for a date — and an impending affair — that I hadn’t ...

Read More

an annunciation, with the meter running

Posted by on Sep 23, 2011 in Life | No Comments

“Kids. Are. So strong. Resilient. You give them. Your love. And they are fine. They can handle anything. Believe…” Many more words came from this man I never saw, but his words turned into clouds around me. Eight years ago, they enveloped me and evaporated me. They imploded my well-constructed mental merry-go-round for living life ...

Read More

we interrupt our program to blurt something out

Posted by on May 23, 2011 in Life | No Comments

Something is starting to hit me. Hard. Not bad, sad or difficult kind of hard. Just weak-kneed, brain-fried, and overwhelming kind of hard. Integrating my past with the present and with hope and grief and growth and—if I am really lucky—grace kind of hard. I had no presumed conclusion in mind when I began writing ...

Read More